Kila...

One year ago today our dearest Kila passed away...We miss her and think of her often...Enzo and I hung out next to Joe as he dug her grave in the orchard...it was a Monday morning and it was raining...I collected some flowers from the garden and laid them on top of her body...I hope she knew how loved she was...and I can honestly say that her absence is truly felt in our home.

I had 10 years with Kila in my life...and I have some wonderful memories. We used to play hide-n-seek at dad and Jeri's...I would stand at the back door and throw her little green soccer ball into the back yard...as she went to retrieve it, I would dash into the house and hide in a room...she'd run back into the house, (dropping the ball off at the door) and without fail, she'd find me instantly! I was always amazed and I'd laugh...Kila always had a smile...She was a precious PITA.

I love and miss you dearest Kila.

Woof.

Painting....

That is a picture of my studio...and on the easel, is a painting.

I have hired a babysitter to play with Owen for a few hours twice a week, so that I can spend some time doing things that I miss...like painting. She started this week, and I am beyond thrilled...with both her and the precious time I have to indulge in my interests...

So I've spent my hours painting...and loving every minute...

Photos From Weyerhauser...

I....

I AM: Sitting at the table...typing...
I SAID: "BLAH" all day to Owen...like in the movie "The Whale Rider"...(he laughs...)
I WANT: A maid...to live with Joe everyday...to paint.
I WISH: I could breastfeed Owen...
I HATE: Trying not to hate...so nothing goes here...
I MISS: Olivia and Kila...
I FEAR: Nothing much...(pretty good, ey?)...
I HEAR: The (read: constant) humm of the dryer...Pookie meowing...
I WONDER: If I'll ever really clean the bathroom...
I REGRET: Eating the second piece of pie I'll be having in an hour...(does this count?)
I FEEL GUILTY: I'm in denial...can't go there right now...
I SECRETLY ENJOY: Walking around my garden...
I AM NOT: Happy all the time...
I DANCE: Everyday for Owen...
I SING: "The Wheels on the Bus" everyday...at least once...for Owen...
I AM NOT ALWAYS: As patient as I could be.
I MADE: A Rhubard/Blueberry pie today...(I lost a bet with Joe...this was my deed)...
I WRITE: More cautiously than I'd like...
I CONFUSE: Joe...
I NEED: A maid...(did I already mention this?)
I SHOULD: Take the ice cream out of the freezer so it's nice and soft...
I START: To clean off the kitchen counter and NEVER finish...
I FINISH: Eating before Joe 99% of the time!
I BELIEVE: I'm a KICKASS mom! :-)
I KNOW: Joe loves me very much...
I CAN: Be a good friend...
I CAN’T: Grasp how a plane stays up in the air...
I SEE: Owen on the video monitor...
I BLOG: Not as often as I'd like...but soon...
I READ: Newsweek and The New York Times...
I AM AROUSED BY: Joe emptying the dishwasher...:-P
IT PISSES ME OFF: The war in Iraq...
I FIND: Cheerios on the floor...everyday...Incredible joy when Owen laughs...
I LIKE: Sleeping well...
I LOVE: My family...Joe...Owen...my friends...me!