Wednesday, October 25, 2006

Where Am I?


Joe, Owen and I went on a little walk this weekend across the street to the new Quadrant Development...we found a quaint little trail, which is the only redeeming quality and contribution they have brought to our neighborhood...but alas, I digress.

On the early part of the walk, Joe noticed that this tree, (crabapple?) was budding...and sure enough, there were new little gorgeous, fragrant flowers opening up in utter confusion...I've never heard of this happening, maybe it's a common occurrence in the Fall, as the days are similar to our Spring days? (If this is a wrong assumption, let it be known that it was Joe's idea!!!)...Is it global warming? Is it the Republicans fault?

Yes, that's it. The little tree feels that the end of the world is nearing due to horrid policies by this Administration, and decided to push it's little buds out into the world, just to have one last go at it before we all die.

Sunday, September 24, 2006

Foggy Morning...




Autumn...




Fall has arrived to Seattle...Yesterday was a beautiful morning...I just love the crispness of the air and light...and the colors Fall brings...

Saturday, September 02, 2006

Random Thoughts...

I feel like writing...

I am sitting here on my beautiful and comfortable couch...I can hear the classical guitar music Owen is sleeping to through the baby monitor...It sounds so nice...I think I'm going to play more music...listening to NPR all day gets a little old I suppose...especially listening to same stories a couple of times...

We are working so hard on getting the house ready...we hired a crew of guys to come tomorrow and stay all day...they are going to do a lot...I will mostly watch Owen, as my babysitter (who I called to see if she could come today and tomorrow) has not returned my call...this has been the pattern lately, along with cancelling the morning of...so I will not use her anymore...it sure sucks though as it would be helpful to have some time to pack. I did though hire another babysitter (she is a stay at home mom), but she won't start until Monday. She's coming everyday for a week or two for a few hours, so that will be good.

So we may be moving to Portland as early as a couple of weeks...I can't believe it...forever it seemed far away...unreachable...and now it's right around the corner...I'm both excited and sad....I'm really, really, really going to miss this home...I wish I could pack it up and take it with me...but the knowledge that Joe, Owen and I will be together is really great...I've hated the distance between all of us...and I know Joe is so happy to have us all together!

Yey!

I'm looking forward too to buying another home...I don't think our plan to pay cash for our next home is really going to pan out...the homes in that cash range are not in the best neighborhoods, so I think we are looking at a $100K mortgage...not bad at all...maybe we can work hard and pay it off in a year or two...God knows we won't need to buy anything for our new home! haha...

I've been looking at my past artwork as I pack my studio...it will be good to spend time nurturing and creating again...I do miss it...

Well, it's 9:30 and the dryer stopped...off to fold laundry.

Tuesday, July 18, 2006

We're moving to Portland...


We decided a week or so ago to move to Portland...I feel good about the decision, excited really...but I will admit that I am dealing with feelings of loss. I have come to love this home...in a way one can love a home...in the short 5 years we have lived here, we have amassed a heart full of memories...the love and work and dreams we have lived here...

There is a part of me that realizes this is irreplaceable...this place is unique...but so is my marriage...and I miss Joe, and long for our life when we spent our time together as oppossed to now, were it's only a few days a week...I know in my heart that this is the right direction we need to follow.

I will miss most of all the woodpeckers, my Japanese Maples...my Bamboo...my kitchen...Pookie's Garden...were I have spent many mornings just sitting and being happy.

I hope whoever ends up with this home, enjoys it as much or even more than we have...I can't do more than that.

Tuesday, June 27, 2006

Kila...


One year ago today our dearest Kila passed away...We miss her and think of her often...Enzo and I hung out next to Joe as he dug her grave in the orchard...it was a Monday morning and it was raining...I collected some flowers from the garden and laid them on top of her body...I hope she knew how loved she was...and I can honestly say that her absence is truly felt in our home.

I had 10 years with Kila in my life...and I have some wonderful memories. We used to play hide-n-seek at dad and Jeri's...I would stand at the back door and throw her little green soccer ball into the back yard...as she went to retrieve it, I would dash into the house and hide in a room...she'd run back into the house, (dropping the ball off at the door) and without fail, she'd find me instantly! I was always amazed and I'd laugh...Kila always had a smile...She was a precious PITA.

I love and miss you dearest Kila.

Woof.

Friday, June 23, 2006

Painting....



That is a picture of my studio...and on the easel, is a painting.

I have hired a babysitter to play with Owen for a few hours twice a week, so that I can spend some time doing things that I miss...like painting. She started this week, and I am beyond thrilled...with both her and the precious time I have to indulge in my interests...

So I've spent my hours painting...and loving every minute...

Saturday, June 03, 2006

I....

I AM: Sitting at the table...typing...
I SAID: "BLAH" all day to Owen...like in the movie "The Whale Rider"...(he laughs...)
I WANT: A maid...to live with Joe everyday...to paint.
I WISH: I could breastfeed Owen...
I HATE: Trying not to hate...so nothing goes here...
I MISS: Olivia and Kila...
I FEAR: Nothing much...(pretty good, ey?)...
I HEAR: The (read: constant) humm of the dryer...Pookie meowing...
I WONDER: If I'll ever really clean the bathroom...
I REGRET: Eating the second piece of pie I'll be having in an hour...(does this count?)
I FEEL GUILTY: I'm in denial...can't go there right now...
I SECRETLY ENJOY: Walking around my garden...
I AM NOT: Happy all the time...
I DANCE: Everyday for Owen...
I SING: "The Wheels on the Bus" everyday...at least once...for Owen...
I AM NOT ALWAYS: As patient as I could be.
I MADE: A Rhubard/Blueberry pie today...(I lost a bet with Joe...this was my deed)...
I WRITE: More cautiously than I'd like...
I CONFUSE: Joe...
I NEED: A maid...(did I already mention this?)
I SHOULD: Take the ice cream out of the freezer so it's nice and soft...
I START: To clean off the kitchen counter and NEVER finish...
I FINISH: Eating before Joe 99% of the time!
I BELIEVE: I'm a KICKASS mom! :-)
I KNOW: Joe loves me very much...
I CAN: Be a good friend...
I CAN’T: Grasp how a plane stays up in the air...
I SEE: Owen on the video monitor...
I BLOG: Not as often as I'd like...but soon...
I READ: Newsweek and The New York Times...
I AM AROUSED BY: Joe emptying the dishwasher...:-P
IT PISSES ME OFF: The war in Iraq...
I FIND: Cheerios on the floor...everyday...Incredible joy when Owen laughs...
I LIKE: Sleeping well...
I LOVE: My family...Joe...Owen...my friends...me!

Wednesday, May 10, 2006

Thursday, April 20, 2006

Monday, April 17, 2006

Friday, April 14, 2006

Still....


Nothing special...just a picture I took in Hood River a few months ago that I like...it's nice to be able to revisit the shots so easily on the PC...it's difficult to remember what life was like before computers...maybe we lived more.

O is asleep and I felt like writing a bit. It's quiet. NPR is off. The pups lay resting...and I sit here in the dining room listening to the soft rain fall upon the house. It is a nice rain today...it comes and goes in terms of it's strength...now it is just a mist-like spray. I can see by looking at the plum tree that it has rained all night. It's branches arc over with the weight of the water on it's leaves. He looks like an old man...still and waiting...not too happy. It must be stressful to be bent over in that position...and I'm afraid I don't have good news for him as it's suppose to rain all weekend...

The garden is coming alive...and with it's awakening, it too has awakened my spirit...I embrace this new feeling within me...It's exhausting to feel blue inside...to try and muster joy daily...even though your well is empty...for that's how I've felt this past winter...I sometimes find tears in my eyes when I look out at my garden...planting it has been one of the greatest accomplishments of my 40 year old life...I look forward with much anticipation to see it grow and shelter me.

Joe pointed out to me the other day that I go through these obsessive stages...and now I am 100% obsessed with photography...I can't deny his conclusion...I hope this is not a fleeting interest...and I do not believe it so as I am constantly thinking about photography...I even with dream with f-stops and shutter speeds...I look forward to a photographic outting...just me and my Olympus.

Yesterday I took my first GREAT black and white photo all with manual settings. Granted, the expression on my subjects face is not wonderful at all, and therefor makes the photo unshowable...but alas, the settings were right on...the sharpness of the face...the lighting...just beautiful...Of course, taking pictures of someone eating is not the brightest idea...

I've been VERY SLOWLY reading my buddism book...and it has really made an impact. I am more aware of how I'm feeling at a given moment throughout the day. I tend to acknowledge my feelings more...and by acknowledging them more, they seem to diminish in their control over me. I became aware at how much anxiety I am feeling...(I say am, because I still feel it...although not as much)...Yey! for that.

Progress.

Thursday, April 13, 2006

Tuesday, April 11, 2006

Thursday, April 06, 2006